Week 3 weigh in

Week 3 weigh in = 3lbs LOST!!!!!!!! 
                                     15lbs lost total    
                                        85lbs to go!


This weigh in kind of hit home for me. I am working my ass off and eating healthier than ever and I go to weigh myself and only have lost 3 lbs? Really? WHAT? That's not fair! 7 the first week. 5 the second week and now 3? That's not gonna work for me. 

I broke down. I started crying to Lee. He had no idea why I was crying so much. I told him how hard I'm working and how healthy I've become. All my hard work only to lose 3 pounds? It's not fair. All the stress of working out and watching everyone around me eating whatever they want without a care in the world made me so sad. And here I am eating turkey burgers and broccoli and fruits and veggies and nasty cereal that's supposed to be good for you but it tastes like stale butt JUST SUCKS. Lee has to bring me back to reality and tell me that I lost weight! I didn't gain anything. I'm doing everything right and I'm on the right track.

And on the other hand, healthier foods are becoming much more delicious than they were in the beginning. I have found a new found love for avacados. I put them on everything. It's so delicious. And hard boiled eggs. I think I'm going to get sick of them soon but right now they are SO darn good, especially in my salad. 

Another thing I've caught myself doing is weighing myself like 8 times a day. It's getting really bad. It's like I'm addicted to weighing myself. Of course I weigh myself as soon as I wake up, then again after a work out and then after I eat, and then after I use the bathroom... So I told Lee to hide the scale. I'm so tired of my day revolving around the scale when in reality, I should be stepping on the scale once a week. And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start weighing myself every Saturday instead because Sunday's seem to be my "splurge" day. Not that I'm splurging, but I am eating dinner with my whole family and that seems to be my downfall. 

I have to realize that I'm doing really well in my workout.  I have to keep telling myself that I'm doing GREAT and that whatever I lose that week is a loss and not a gain. I'm working toward a goal of losing 100 pounds and most healthy people lose only 1-2 pounds per week. I'm going to get so excited once I hit that 20 pound mark. I can't wait for that. :)

Week 2 weight in

Week 2 weigh in = 5lbs LOST!!!!!!!! 
                                 12lbs lost total    
                                    88lbs to go!
                             
If I keep this up, I'm going to reach my goal in no time. I can't believe that I'm actually doing it. In the past, every diet I tried didn't work. Or it worked for a couple days and then it stopped so I gave up. For some reason, this time is different. My motivation is different. My goals are actually reachable. (my 100lb goal is attainable over time) I know that this amount of weight loss isn't going to happen every week but a girl can be optimistic right?

Some things that are happening right now are: 
     -Jillian Michaels 30 day shred Monday through Friday
     - Mandatory breakfast consisting of cereal, fruits or hard boiled eggs with toast.
     - Lunch is pretty much whatever is in the fridge. Anything from soup, salad, turkey wrap, another bowl of cereal, cheese and crackers....
     - Dinner is a range of food from chicken, salmon and turkey burgers with a large side of any vegetable. My faves are broccoli, green beans and salad. I don't eat a lot of calories during the day, so I indulge in my favorite salad dressings and don't worry about the calories in the dressing.
     - Water is my best friend. 100% Orange juice is a healthy alternative when I'm not feeling water. Those little Mio things work really well. I've only tried the grape but it's delicious. 
     - I'm beginning to feel a difference in my arms. I wish I was seeing a difference in my belly fat. That's where alllllllllllllllllllllllll my fat is. There, and my inner thighs. But with the extensive research I've done trying to find ways to get rid of belly fat, there aren't really any. Cardio will burn calories which will in turn help you lose fat where it needs to be burned i.e. your stomach. Slow and steady fits in the wedding dress of her dreams I guess. 

I want to give a special shout out to my ex husband Kyle. Thank you for always saying I was too fat and using that as a "motivator" to try to get me to lose weight. I am with a wonderful man who loves me for who I am and what I look like. I motivate myself to work out and it's actually working. No wonder I never lost weight with you JERK! but anywho... I can't wait for next weeks weigh in. :)

First Weigh In

Week 1 weight in= lost 7lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm still very ashamed of my actual weight number and I don't want to publish that for the world to see quite yet. But I know that when I start seeing significant change and weight loss, I'm going to blast that every where!

I have had so much will power that I find it a little strange because I've never had will power my whole life. I haven't had any sweets, soda or anything bad for me at all. Period. Not even sherbert. It's been straight protein, vegetables, fruits and healthy organic food. I'm not going to lie though, those first few days without mountain dew were almost intolerable. I was cranky and moody because of my caffeine addiction. If anyone tells you that caffeine is not addicting, they are WRONG! 

Jillian Michaels workout is still hard as it was when I first started. However, my breathing is becoming better and my endurance is strengthening. I'm very proud of myself with that. The only problem with working out is my knees. They grind together because of my lack of cartilage in my knee. So sometimes, I have to modify the set but I still feel the burn. 

Water is my best friend. I drink and drink and drink and drink and by the time it's lunch or dinner, I begin to eat and I automatically get full. It's pretty amazing. I should've listened to everyone who's skinny or losing weight already. But you always think that you're right in what you're doing and blaming your weight on everything else in life. You really have to stop and blame yourself. YOU'RE eating taco bell. YOU'RE drinking 4-5 cans of mountain dew a day. YOU'RE no getting off your huge butt and working out. I'm putting full blame on myself for my weight, well with the unwanted help of PCOS making sure I don't lose weight. 

THIS GIRL will get skinny. :)

Day 3 of weight loss

I wake up PUMPED to work out. I hope I never lose this feeling. 

I'm so motivated to lose weight and it's all because of me.

Today, I woke up sore, but still motivated to work out. As I began my workout with Jillian, I felt the routine coming natural and my breath was becoming steadier. I'm still having quite a difficult time with the leg exercises because of my knees, but I hope as I lose weight, my knees will become stronger. For some reason, I'm not sweating as much as I'd like. (Yes, I grade my workout on my amount of sweat) I was still incredibly sore after my workout today, which means that I'm still doing something right and this workout is still affecting me. As of right now, the inside of my thighs and my abs hurt. Well, the fat covering my abs hurt lol.

I also began Weight Watchers yesterday. I'm going to try to incorporate every weight loss trick out there. Eating healthy, working out, cutting soda out completely and whatever else I can find. I want to try out Shakeology or head over to the Nutrition Store to see if there's pills or drinks or whatever else will help me lose weight. With all this water I'm drinking, it fills me up so quickly before I eat so I'm not eating as much.

There's only one flaw in my weight loss plans and that's eating late. Lee and I are so used to eating 8 or 9 o clock at night because we're not even hungry yet. So, we're going to have to try really hard to eat dinner at a normal time like normal families. 

I'm also doing a really great job not weighing myself everyday. I want to be shocked when I step on the scale next Monday. I want to cry because of all the hard work I'm doing and it's all because of me. Not because of some lame ass ex husband that told me he would leave me if I didn't get skinny. Nope! It's all because of me because I did it! I can't wait to do Insanity or Beach Body after Jillian Michaels. Hopefully I will be strong enough physically to handle that sort of workout. Even if I'm not, at least I'll still be trying. There really is no excuse anymore. I'm doing this and I'm going to rock it! I know I'm stubborn and I'll show myself that I'm worth all this effort. 

I'm also super excited to track my progress. I know that I'm going to thank myself in the end for doing it so I can be an inspiration to other people who want to lose weight. :)

Let the weight loss journey begin!

I am happy and excited to announce that out of nowhere, I have found the motivation to lose weight. 

Throughout my entire life, I've been heavy. Always. And my entire life, I've been ashamed of my weight. I've tried to lose weight with diets, exercise, weight watchers... anything! You name it, I've probably tried it. Plus, I was surrounded by people who loved me for me and I didn't need to hear that. I needed to be around people who love me but also want the best for me and the best for me is to lose weight. For my health and for our kids.

Another huge reason and motivation for my weight loss is my PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). It prevents me from getting pregnant and it also makes it really really hard for me to lose weight. There's nothing the doctors can do about it. It's all on me. When I lose the weight, the PCOS will begin to go away and I will also be more fertile. I've always wanted to have a child. And everyone around me is doing it now and it just makes me feel so sad. 

So NOW, I've had enough! No more excuses. No more late night snacks. No more sitting on the couch when I could be working out or walking or whatever! I've had enough! I need all the motivation and support I can get from my friends and family.

However, I am still overly ashamed of my weight. I do not want to release the number right now nor do I want to release my before pictures. I will definitely release all of these pictures once I start looking the way I want and the scale starts coming down. :)

I can't wait for my weight transformation to begin!

You find out who your friends are

All throughout your life, you're moving on. Whether it's a new school, new town, new job or just growing up, you're constantly changing and moving on. Same with the people in your life. People come and go and if you're lucky, they will have an impact on your life and change you forever. I've had the pleasure of meeting and making friends in many different cities in different situations. Some, I have kept in touch with and some have moved on and facebook keeps us updated with each others lives.

I am guilty of letting some of my friendships fade because of life and not keeping in touch. It hurts me to know that. People always say, "I'll keep in touch. We'll talk every day. Just because you're leaving/moving, doesn't mean that we won't still be the best of friends." Then, they move on. They continue to live their lives, meet new people, create new memories and make new best friends. Call me immature, stuck in high school or whatever you want, but I still believe in the idea of best friends. Those people in the world that have your back no matter what. Those you don't have to talk to every day and still retain a friendship for the books. Those people that as you're going through your daily life, you change for the better or worse, and you can meet up and they bring you back to who you really want to be. Make you feel yourself again. Younger, perhaps? And when you go back to your daily life, you almost feel rejuvenated. All the stress in your life can be removed with a little help from your friends. (The Beatles were RIGHT!) I have fortunate to have 3 of those people in my life....

Those people for me are my forever friends Evva, Brandi and Valerie. In each of these friendships, we have been through different experiences, some tough, some silly, some down right weird but all positive. And the best part is we are all friends together. These are the girls that will drop everything and be there for you no matter what it is. They have all helped me through some of the hardest times of my life. They strengthened me to become a positive divorcee and come out on the other side not angry, sad, or bitter. I'm grateful for whatever has happened in my life because of them. They will all three be my maid of honor at my wedding. Screw rules/traditions. The three of them will be at the hospital when I have a child. One of them will by the God Mother of my child. They'll be in my children's lives. They'll just always be there. 

Thank you for your friendship, time, tears, hugs, parties, memories. You guys really are the best friends a girl could ask for. Love you guys!!!

A Month Hiatus

It has been one hell of a month. Normally, I have time every day to sit down and have a little breather and blog, but oh no. Not this past month. EVERYDAY there has been something happening. Something going on. Someone needs something. Someone wants something. It has finally calmed down. No one's birthday is next week. No one needs anything. We can all finally breathe.

The upcoming months should be rather uneventful, and that excites me beyond belief. I can't wait to just hang out with our little family and make memories. 

Valentine's Day was soooooo cute. Lee did such a great job. He got me a beautiful floral arrangement, a candle, a pink balloon and ferrero rocher. He sure knows the way to my heart. We bought the kids some clothes, toys and a lot of chocolate. I made them pink pancakes for dinner and they had sparkling cider. (They called it wine.) For dinner, Lee and I had steak, shrimp, baked potato and a huge salad. Oh, and of course Moscato. I <3 moscato!
And me, the girl with her camera attached to her hand, did NOT take any pictures that day. I feel so bad! It was a super cute and romantic day for our whole family.

So, I've been a "Domestic Goddess" since the middle of August and It's been.... different. I'm definitely more productive, clean, an excellent cook (thanks to pinterest and paula deen), a better writer, reading a lot more and LAZY! Holy cow... I do a LOT of sitting and holy moly, being a stay at home mom has it's challenges. As I'm sitting here writing that sentence, Jillian Michaels comes on TV and says, "When are you going to get up and do something about it? If you say tomorrow, you know you're lying." .......oh damn. That's me. That's me all day long. I know I need to do something about it. I know I do. And I will. I need a gym. I really want to join the YMCA but with our family of 5, I don't know if that's something we can afford right now. And that sucks because that's the one reason that's stopping me from beginning a diet. And I know that it shouldn't be an excuse. I need motivation. I need to look at myself in the mirror REALLY hard and tell myself that this is not what you want. That's what I'm going to do tomorrow. yup. It's happening...

A PINKALICIOUS birthday party

Ok, now all who know me know how much of a planner I am. I have to plan things SEVERAL weeks in advance and continually work through my list before the big day, perfecting and minimizing. I could not have been happier with the outcome of this almost month worth of planning party. Having children gives me the ultimate excuse to decorate, coordinate, and plan a party. 

For all 3 of my kids, I don't really ask them what they want to do for their birthday as far as a party goes. I like to surprise them. (It's worth the look on their face. I promise!) So when it came time for Jackie's birthday, I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited. She's a girl after my own heart. Literally, she wants to be me. There's nothing more humbling in the world then having a little girl look up to you and copy your every move.

Beginning this planning a 5 year old's pinkalicious birthday party adventure, I had to come up with a budget. In this family, the budget is always ZERO. We're a large family with one parent working, so the budget is always small. But I was realistic and set the budget at $50.

This is what our party's theme was based on... Pinkalicous. AKA Jackie's favorite book. It's almost like the book was written thinking of her. If you haven't read it, DO SO!

I already knew that the house had to be decked out in pink. That was a given and that was the easy part. The hard part? FINDING PINK FOOD. Who would've thought?

Decorating: streamers, 24 balloons, table cloth and 2 pinkalicious posters (handmade). TOTAL= $5.00

 

I was very pleased with the amount of pink. I didn't think it was going to be enough, but it truly truly was. The balloons in the dining room under the light turned the whole room pink. Next was the food...

Food: Heart shaped PB&J's, pink rice krispies, fruity pebble rice krispies, pink chocolate drizzled strawberries, pink white chocolate pretzel rods, pink animal cookies, strawberry marshmallows, strawberry malt balls, strawberry/banana skewers, taco dip/chips (not pictured), lemon pepper/buffalo wings (not pictured), strawberry soda, fruit punch, hawaiian punch minis with fun jackie facts, cucumbers and broccoli with pink ranch dip (green food in case of acute pinkatitus) and PINKALICIOUS cupcakes. TOTAL: $40.00

 

 

Next comes the games. Lee and I are obsessed with Minute to Win it so we figured we would play as many child friendly minute to win it games as possible. 
The list of games included: 
     1. Pin the cherry on the cupcake
     2. Face the Cookie (put a cookie on your forehead and without using your hands, get the cookie in your mouth)
     3. Cup Stackers (stack cups on top of each other and unstack them without all of them falling)
     4. Bouncers (bounce the bouncy ball into the cup)
     5. Blow Straw (use the straw to blow the ball across the finish line)
     6. Marshmallow Head (throw marshmallows into your partners bucket on top of their head)
     7. Jackie's Favorite Things (a quick quiz to see who knows Jackie the best.

The final game was supposed to be to turn JACKIE into a pink mummy, but she chickened out at the end so of course Ayden stepped up and helped her out. I told him to give me a scared face... yup, that's scared lol.

The party turned out to be a huge hit with the kids because at the end of the day, that's who it's all about. The adults can sit back and watch as long as the children are having a blast. The only bad thing about having an awesome birthday party is... how the heck am I going to outdo myself for the next party?

The Flu, Cheddar and Insomnia

It has been far too long since I've last posted. Things around this abode have been kinda nuts. (Like it isn't every other day of the year) The flu finally caught our family, thanks to my butthead of a brother, Eric. It hit us like none other. It started with me... a little sore throat, mild cough, a few stabs from Lee telling me that I was overreacting and that I wasn't really sick. The next day, Lee starts coughing and he tells me he thinks he's getting sick.

OH REALLY NOW? Look who's being over dramatic now!!

On the plus side, Lee spend 3 painfully sick days at home with me. We bonded over tissues and the ID channel. We took turns getting up for more hot beverages or refills on soup. The dinners for the children consisted of whatever took the least amount of time out of covers. (Sorry kids!) But cuddling on the couch together for 3 days was pretty fantastic. 

Aside from being sick and not keeping up with my blog, we also adopted a cat. Let me make one thing clear, WE ARE NOT A CRAZY CAT FAMILY! ....well maybe we are. But Lee and I are the same when it comes to animals, we can't say no. It's just not possible. Especially to a cat who needs a loving home. This cat was his sister Logan's. She moved back into her parents and the cat had to stay outside. He wasn't allowed in because of the dog and the other cats. He liked outside so it didn't seem like a big deal. But every time we all went to Lee's parents house, we would see this little furball outside begging for attention. It was so hard not to spend the entire time we visited outside cuddling this cat. I made the joke that we should take him home with us so we can give him the love and attention he deserves. As soon as those words came out, Lee's eyes meet mine and the decision is made. We will be taking this cat home with us.

Here he is... Cheddar. :)

Isn't he the cutest thing you ever did see? :) and he's so playful and cuddly and sweet and he MEOWS SO DAMN LOUD for wet food. OMG!!! It's like this cat never had canned food in his life. Best thing since tuna.

I blame his cuteness for my insomnia these days. He comes up to my face in the middle of the night and meows as loud as he can. Plus, we sit on the cough and cuddle, while watching Family Feud. (which we're doing right now at 2:21am) These days, I just can't sleep. Partially because of my completely stuffed nose from the flu and partially because I've slept so much over the past couple days that I just can't sleep anymore. Remember those days back when you were in your teens when you could go to sleep at midnight and not wake up until 4 in the afternoon? Yeah... those days are long gone.

Survey SAYS: ... I should really try to go to sleep...

Finally back in the Groove

Oh.My.GOODNESS! Christmas/New Years is now the MOST stressful time of year in our house. We are all running around with our heads cut off to make sure that we make it to everywhere we need to be and spend as much time with both of our families as we can. And then, after all that running around, we have to wait almost a week before the kids go back to school. (which can't come soon enough.)

But aside from all of that, Christmas is STILL my favorite time of year. Here are some highlights from our Christmas vacation...
  

Getting ready to go to Maryland for Christmas Eve

 

Cousins :)

 

 Opening presents at Grandma and Grandpa's (Maryland)

 Lee admiring his mom's Christmas present

Christmas morning at our house

Jackie excited for her Zebra blanket

Ayden super excited to open his present from the Barnes' family

Christian looking tired but ready to open some presents!

Our annual Christmas picture at my mom's. 

Me and my mom

 The boys getting so impatient for Andy's immaculate meal. (This picture cracks me up sooooooo much. boys... lol)

Jackie loves herself some Tyler.